With A Little Help From My Friends
by Mezunda
Summary: Reid is in love with Morgan and heartbroken as he knows his love will never be returned. The he meets a potential new love interest and goes to Garcia for some advice. But what will happen when Morgan finds out about Spencer's improved love life? romance rather than just pure smut First fanfic, please read and review if you want the story to continue!
1. Advice

A timid knock on the door of her lair woke Penelope Garcia from the excellent daydream she was having . Unwillingly she opened her eyes and took her feet off the table, settling herself into a slightly more presentable position.

"Come in," she called, removing bits of fluff from her bright pink cardigan. The peacock feather hairclip that was holding up her tightly curled hair seemed to have decided to shed bits of itself all over her. 'Guess that's what you get if you go to the 'reduced by 70%' section,' she thought, making a mental note to bin the hairclip when she got home.

A sheepish looking Spencer Reid popped his head around the door. "Uh, hi Garcia, can we have a quick chat?"

"Of course my precious, anything for my favourite junior 'G' man," Garcia replied, beaming up at him. Spencer came in quickly and shut the door behind him. He sat down on one of the spare chairs and entwined his long fingers together, looking down at his black Converse trainers. There was a brief silence. Penelope observed him, trying to gage his mood.

"I need some advice."

"Sure thing honey bunch, talk to your Aunty Penelope."

Spencer shuffled his feet, looking incredibly awkward. He cleared his throat. "It's about…a girl."

Penelope positively beamed. She loved helping out her colleagues with this sort of thing, but it was usually Morgan or Prentiss who wanted her help. It wasn't often that Spencer Reid didn't have the answer to something. One of the things that she absolutely adored about Reid was that his IQ of 187 could be reduced to about 60 by the presence of a pretty girl; seeing him blush and stumble over his words made her want to give him a huge hug.

"Oh Spenny, you have no idea how happy you've made your Aunty Penelope! I was beginning to think I would have to force you to go to one of those self-esteem building classes."

Spencer blushed to the roots of his hair. Ignoring him Penelope continued, "so…dish the dirt. Who is this magical minx who has stolen my baby boy's heart?"

Spencer gave her a slightly pained look, like he was already regretting coming to see her. However the weight of his problem was too much for him and he really needed to get it off his chest.

"She's a girl who goes to my local café every morning. I see her all the time but we didn't speak until last week. She came over and asked me what I was reading," here Spencer's eyes lit up slightly, "which happened to be Michio Kaku's fascinating book 'Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the Tenth Dimension'. Did you know that over a quarter of…"

"Reid!"

Spencer broke off from his ramble to see Penelope glaring at him. "Sorry." He coughed awkwardly.

"ANYWAY…" Penelope said, gesturing for him to continue.

"Well we started talking briefly every morning and then I didn't see her for a few days whilst we were on that case in Boston. Then this morning I bumped into her and she said had she missed our chats. And she said it was a shame we both always had to rush off in the mornings. And then there was this really awkward silence and I had to leave." Here Spencer stopped, frowning at the memory.

Penelope was giving him one of her most 'mum-like' stares. "_Please_ tell me you asked her out first," she said. Spencer looked genuinely perplexed, and a hint of red covered his cheeks again.

"W-what?"

Penelope rose up from her seat and came towards him. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she looked down at him with a mixture of annoyance and laughter. "She gave you the _sign_ and you just walked away. Honestly Reid, for a genius you really can be _so_ clueless!" Returning to her seat she sat back and stared at him, shaking her head.

"I _know_, that's why I need your advice." Spencer ran a hand through his unruly hair. "Was she really expecting me to ask her out?"

"Well it definitely sounds like it."

"Oh God." Spencer leant forward, putting his head in his hands. " I've really messed up haven't I?"

Penelope snorted. "Don't be such a drama queen baby boy, now Aunty Penelope's on the case it's pretty easily fixed. But first you have to tell me, do you actually _want_ to go on a date with this girl?"

Spencer shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. "Um…I guess so." He looked up into Penelope's questioning gaze. "I don't really know."

Penelope decided to come straight to the point. "Well do you fancy her or not? What's 'her' name by the way?"

Spencer answered the less awkward question first. "Her name's Angela, she's a psychology major at the University of Virginia."

"And…"

"I hadn't really thought about her in that way. I just thought she was really…friendly."

Penelope managed to hide her smile behind her hand. Reid truly was too adorable for words!

However his next comment sobered her up pretty quickly. Looking down at his hands again Reid said quietly, "And I don't get the same feelings that I get," he stopped; "that I _got, _when I was around…Morgan."

Leaning forward Penelope put her hands on top of Spencer's. He jumped at her unexpected touch, but Penelope didn't move back. "Spencer. Look at me."

Spencer looked up at her and behind the thick glasses she saw his wary hazel eyes hiding some other emotion he couldn't quite control. "What?"

"Do you still have feelings for Derek?" She silenced his muffled protests with a look. "_Truthfully_?"

Spencer swallowed and looked back down at his hands. His answer, when it came, was nothing more than a whisper. "Yes."

Penelope sighed and gave his hand a squeeze. "I thought as much. Boy oh boy does that throw a spanner in the works."

Spencer's head snapped up. "W-why?"

"You can't go on a date with this poor girl if you like someone else. That wouldn't be fair. Then again…" Penelope tilted her head and gave Spencer a contemplative look. "Maybe she's exactly what you need. A distraction."

Spencer ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I _hate_ feeling like this Garcia. It's ridiculous and illogical and I can't explain it away with facts or theory. I _know _he'll never feel that way about me and yet there's still a tiny bit of me that _hopes_. When he looks at me with that _smile_, or touches my shoulder…" Spencer grimaced. "It's pathetic."

"Spencer you listen to me. You are _not_ pathetic. The heart can't help what it feels. And Derek is hot stuff! I don't call him my Chocolate Adonis for nothing you know," Penelope added jokingly trying to lighten the mood. But Spencer didn't even smile. "I know you think it's a bad idea but if it's making you this unhappy you should just say something to him."

"I can't," Spencer moaned through his fingers. "Best case scenario he'd be nice about it but it would be horrendously awkward afterwards, and worst case I'd lose his friendship entirely. Either way it's a _terrible _idea.

"Derek would never drop a friendship over something so trivial," Penelope corrected him. "Especially not his friendship with you. He cares about you a lot…just not in the way you want him to. But he might, one day."

"Even if he did have feelings for me, which he doesn't, he would never, never be able to act on them. Not after what happened to him as a child. And I wouldn't ever want to be the reason he has to think about that man again."

There was a silence as the truth of his words sank in. Penelope was at a loss as to how to cheer Spencer up; he looked so young and forlorn. But she wasn't about to give up on him that easily.

"Focussing on the past and the future clearly isn't getting us anywhere is it, so let's focus on the present instead shall we?" She said forthrightly. "Let's focus on what you could have rather than thinking about what you can't. What's the likelihood that you will see this Angela girl tomorrow?"

"About 96.5% if you allow for certain anomalies and…" Spencer broke off. "Sorry I'm doing it again aren't I?"

Penelope smiled at him. "There's the Reid I know. Well I think it would be wise if I come to the café with you tomorrow and check this girl out. Then I'll be able to assess what your next move should be with more confidence. And I'll be able to see if she's good enough for my baby 'G' man too of course. I won't settle for anyone less than perfect." She gave Spencer a wink and was relieved to see him give a weak smile in return. "I'll pick you up at 8. Now shoo we've both got work to do."

Spencer got up and stretched. He couldn't tell if he felt any better than he had done when he'd first arrived in Penelope's office, but it was a relief to get the despair and frustration off his chest. And you just couldn't be too depressed around Garcia, she wouldn't have it.

He made his way to the door. "See you Garcia…and thanks."

She half-turned and blew him a kiss. Spencer opened the door and found himself face-to-face with Morgan who was just raising a hand to knock.

"Oh, hey pretty boy. Baby girl what you doin' blowing kisses at Reid? They should be for me shouldn't they?" he joked, patting Spencer on the arm and looking past him at Penelope who gave him a wide grin.

"Don't worry sugar plum there's plenty of this goddess to go round," she replied, rising and kissing him on the cheek flirtatiously. Spencer took this as his cue to leave. Shutting the door behind him he leant against it and shut his eyes, breathing in the scent of Morgan's cologne that still hung in the air. Through the door he could he Morgan's deep throaty laugh mixing with Garcia's high-pitched giggle, and he was surprised to feel a surge of jealously rising up in him. He was so envious of the way Garcia could just flirt with Morgan…touch him…kiss him. Alarmed to feel tears rising up in his throat he pegged his way to the bathroom and locked himself in the empty cubicle. He sat on the toilet seat and took a few carefully measured breaths. He had gotten so used to hiding his feelings towards the older agent that it was only moments like that where he was caught off guard. Even that light touch of Morgan's hand on his arm had caused a tightening sensation in his lower regions, and he could still feel the hardness slightly as he imagined what those strong, practised hands could do to him in the bedroom.

'Stop it,' he thought to himself. 'Stop torturing yourself. It's never going to happen.' Although he had let his imagination run wild sometimes, Spencer rarely gave in to the images and let himself masturbate. It was so callous, so cold, and so _messy_. Although he hated to admit it, Spencer knew he was a bit of a romantic. Despite his aversion to being touched, he longed for the closeness of another body next to his. Sometimes being a socially awkward genius was a very lonely existence. Every time Morgan came into work after a long weekend, bragging about his conquests, Spencer could feel his heart breaking a little more. The thought of all those women in Morgan's bed…they didn't even know him! Morgan was always very honest with them…"they all know I'm not ready to settle down"…and they never seemed to hold it against him, but Spencer couldn't understand it. He was hardly experienced in the 'love' department, but he had always imagined that to sleep with someone he would have to feel something more towards them than just plain simple lust. But not Morgan; he never pressed Spencer about his sex life (or lack of it) but he did seem to find it hard to comprehend how he could go for such long periods without it.

'We're such different people,' Spencer thought as he unlocked the cubicle door and stepped out into the bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the mirror critically and sighed, thinking about his breakfast date with Garcia the next morning. 'What have I got myself into?'


	2. The Girl from the Cafe

"Now chances are Angela might be a bit off with you after your misunderstanding yesterday, but as long as you make it up to her today I'm sure she'll be over it pretty quick." They were nearly at the café and Penelope had spent the entire walk there lecturing Spencer on how he was to behave once they arrived. Spencer could feel one of his headaches coming on as he tried to absorb all the information she was throwing at him - so much for having an eidetic memory! 'Why on God's earth do girls have to be so _complicated_?' he thought, rubbing his forehead and grimacing. He was never fully awake until he'd had his morning shot of caffeine and today was no exception.

They entered the café and Spencer couldn't help but relax as he breathed in the familiar scent of coffee beans and warm bread. Penelope was gripping his arm tightly.

"Which one is she?" she hissed eagerly in Spencer's ear. Turning his head ever so slightly, Spencer let his eyes roam around the large room. Angela was at her usual corner table, a heavy tome open in front of her into which she was scribbling the odd note.

"Far left-hand side corner table, the girl with long brown hair."

Penelope gave an excited squeak. "Oh baby boy, she is cute. And it even looks like she's reading the same kind of ridiculous book you usually go for!" She laughed as Spencer looked affronted. "You know what I mean. Anyway, you said she's a psychology major right?" Spencer nodded.

"Excellent you have common interests. That's a good start. Now I'll get the coffee, and you go and say hi." When Spencer didn't move she gave him a little shove. "What are you waiting for? We've only got fifteen minutes to fix this!"

Seeing that Penelope was giving him that creepy, unblinking stare that she did so well, Spencer turned unwillingly and made his way slowly over to where Angela was sitting. She looked up as he approached and gave him a small smile.

"Hi Spencer."

"Morning." Spencer gave her his usual awkward wave, relieved to see that she didn't look particularly angry or annoyed. He tried to think of something illuminating to say but his brain seemed to have shut off. There was a silence. "Um…"

"Hello! You must be Angela." Right on cue, Penelope appeared behind Spencer. She thrust a coffee into Spencer's hands and then turned back to Angela beaming broadly. "I'm Penelope, I work with Spencer at the BAU."

The two women shook hands. Angela was smiling now too, and Spencer was again thankful that Garcia's jollity was so infectious. "It's nice to meet you," Angela said, "I've heard a lot about you BAU lot, but it's always nice to be able to put names to faces." She turned to Spencer who was standing awkwardly to one side, and held up her book. "I'm reading that book you told me about, it's fantastic! Thanks so much for the recommendation."

Spencer cleared his throat. "No problem. I've got some others you can borrow if you want, when you've finished that one."

"I'll hold you to that!" Angela laughed, looking up at him with bright eyes. Penelope stood sipping her coffee, feigning disinterest but in reality she was drinking in every word, every gesture. To her it was obvious that this girl had it bad for her baby genius, but Spencer seemed oblivious as usual.

"Hey, why don't you take my number and then you can text me if you think of anything else I should be reading," Angela was saying. Penelope grinned. This girl wasn't going to give up on Spencer without a fight! She watched happily as Spencer handed over his phone and Angela punched in her number.

"Right well I've got to get to class," Angela said, handing Spencer his phone back. "I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow Spencer." She turned to Penelope. "It was lovely to meet you."

"You too," Penelope said smiling back at the younger girl. "I'm sure it won't be the last time!"

They all left the café, Angela headed downtown towards the university, and Spencer and Penelope turned left into the subway.

"So?" Spencer eyed Penelope apprehensively. "W-what do you think?"

Penelope looked at him firmly. "I think you'll be calling her tonight and asking her out!"

And despite his feelings of anxiety, Spencer knew she was right.


	3. The trouble with secrets is

"_So_…how was it?"

Spencer shrugged. "It was…nice."

"_Nice_?" Penelope glared at him. "I go without sleep for three days helping you prepare for this date and all you can give me is _nice_! You better give me more details than that baby boy or I will have to tickle you until you do." She raised her hands in mock-threat and Spencer shrank back alarmed. He hated being tickled. "Just kidding, but seriously. Spill. Did you kiss her?"

Spencer blushed bright red. "Actually, _she_ kind of kissed me."

Penelope giggled. "Well that's something I suppose."

"What is?" Prentiss was passing by the coffee area and had overheard Penelope's last words.

"Well Emily, our young resident genius had himself a little date over the weekend," Penelope confided, ignoring Spencer's pleading look. Emily looked pleased.

"Good for you Reid. Now make sure you go and brag to Morgan about it, he'll be so proud his protégée is finally getting some action!"

Spencer's blush became even more pronounced at the mention of Morgan's name, but Emily didn't seem to notice and she left them to it.

"See, the good thing about Emily is that she doesn't pry," Spencer said looking meaningfully at Penelope.

"Pfft whatever, she's not prying because she's knows I'll just tell her everything later."

"Why are you guys so interested in my love life?" Spencer said, trying and failing not to sound like he was whining. "There really are far more interesting things that you could be talking about."

Penelope patted his cheek as she left. "Oh sweetness, you really have no idea how interesting you are do you?"

Spencer looked after her with a slight frown on his face. He really hated everyone knowing his business. That always made everything so much more complicated. And it wasn't like the team needed more reasons to tease him, especially Morgan.

Spencer had actually been surprised that he had had such a good time on his date with Angela. She was so easy-going and unassuming and he'd found himself able to relax properly for the first time in ages. The last case had been a particularly rough one, and it had been really weighing on his mind, but a few hours of chatting and laughing about stuff that didn't come from a textbook had really cleared his head. He and Angela had a lot in common, and she really was very pretty. Spencer had also realised how nice it was to feel _wanted_. His whole past history with girls, limited as it was, was a bit of embarrassing mess. Apart from Lila, but despite his best efforts they had lost touch over the years and she was now engaged to some Hollywood heartthrob. Angela seemed to sense that he wasn't exactly an expert when it came to women, and she made it easy for him. At the end of the date he had walked her home, and as they stood on the pavement outside she had pulled him close and kissed him. At first he just stood there awkwardly not really knowing how to respond, but then he remembered Penelope's advice that he should just let it happen, and he'd found himself enjoying it. As he'd walked home he'd felt almost happy.

Smiling at the memory, he made his way back to the bullpen and settled down at his desk with some case files. A few hours drifted by and before he knew it it was the end of the day. He was just packing up his things when he felt something soft hit him on the back of the head. He turned round, rubbing his head, and saw Morgan grinning at him from across the room.

"I got you a present," he called.

"What is it?" Spencer asked retrieving the small package from under his desk. It was square and wrapped casually in a bit of newspaper.

"Open it and see." Morgan sauntered over and sat on Spencer's desk watching as Spencer began peeling off the wrapping. He could barely contain his laughter as Spencer removed the last piece and a packet of condoms fell out onto his lap. "I heard you might be needing some of these. Don't want my pretty boy getting himself into any 'sticky' situations."

Spencer felt his cheeks burning as Morgan cracked up laughing at his own joke. He felt angry tears coming into his eyes and he swallowed trying to keep them back. He knew he had to get out of there.

"G-good one," he managed, grabbing his stuff and thrusting the packet back at Morgan. "But you can keep them. I'm sure you've got more need of them than I have." Pushing his chair in he walked hurriedly towards the exit.

"Hey! Reid!" He heard Morgan call after him. "C'mon man, it was just a joke!"

"Yeah, well it wasn't a very funny one," Spencer muttered under his breath as he left the room. The journey home seemed twice as long as normal, and it wasn't until he'd entered his apartment and shut the door firmly behind him that he finally let the tears fall. He cried until he was drained of tears, and then exhausted he fell asleep on his couch. A loud banging on his front door woke him several hours later. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and looked groggily at the screen. He had several missed calls, all of them from Morgan. Angrily he threw the phone onto the floor. Morgan was the last person he wanted to think about right now.

The banging on the door was getting louder. "All right! I'm coming!" Spencer made his way over yawning and took a quick look through the peephole. He was annoyed to see it was Morgan standing there, looking sheepish.

"Go away Morgan."

"Reid, c'mon open the door! It's bloody freezing out here."

"Go and get in the warm then."

"I need to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to _you_."

"Look, I'm sorry about before. I didn't realise it was gonna upset you that much, it was just a joke."

Spencer opened the door and glared at him. "Yeah, well it did upset me."

"P-please let me come in." Morgan's teeth were chattering. Despite himself Spencer gave a small jerk of his head and stood back letting Morgan into the room. Shutting the door he stalked past Morgan back into the living room. Morgan followed him glancing around him. He hadn't been to Spencer's apartment in a long time but nothing much had changed. There were more books than there had been the last time he was there. If that was possible.

Spencer was eyeing him warily, his arms wrapped around himself in a protective stance. He seemed to be making himself as small as possible. Morgan caught sight of the messy couch and said apologetically, "Sorry I didn't realise you were sleeping. I thought you were just ignoring me."

Spencer didn't reply. He was staring down at his mismatched socks as if they were the most interesting things he had ever seen.

Morgan sighed. "So, are you gonna tell me what the problem is or am I gonna have to guess?"

Spencer glanced up at him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"C'mon Reid, don't give me that bullshit! You wouldn't have got so upset about something so trivial if there wasn't something bigger going on."

Spencer glared at him. "You think you know me so well."

"I do. More than most people anyway."

"Maybe, but that's not saying much." Spencer replied stubbornly. Morgan moved towards him and placed his hands on Spencer's shoulders. He felt Spencer tense at his touch but he didn't move away.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I c-can't." Spencer stepped back, pushing Morgan away. Morgan was annoyed and confused.

"C'mon kid you can tell me anything. A problem shared is a problem halved remember? And if I've done something to upset you I wanna know about it."

Spencer turned his back to Morgan, wanting to hide the turmoil that he was sure was written all over his face.

'What am I supposed to do now?' he thought. 'And where the hell is Garcia when I need her?'


	4. Confessions and Confusions

Slowly Spencer turned so he was once more facing Morgan. Seeing his expression it took all Morgan's self control not to reach out and hug him; he could tell it was one of those moments when he was just going to have to let the kid take his time. Behind the despair there was a stubborn, almost defiant look in Spencer's eyes and Morgan began to feel anxious. He just hoped to God it was nothing to do with the Dilaudid. He didn't know if he would be able to handle himself if it was.

Spencer saw the look of panic in Morgan's eyes and nearly laughed despite himself. Morgan was so painfully easy to read sometimes. "It's nothing to do with my addiction." 'Well not the addiction you're thinking of anyway,' he thought, as Morgan gave a visible sigh of relief.

"I'm very glad to hear that pretty boy, you had me worried for a second."

Spencer moved away from him and went to sit back down on the couch. Morgan leaned against the kitchen counter with folded arms and watched him. Spencer took a deep breath.

"Believe me Morgan, this will be one of those situations where you look back and wished you'd never asked."

"You know what I think?" It was a rhetorical question and Spencer made no move to answer it. "I think you should stop worrying so much about my feelings and just start talking." Morgan moved a little further into the room. "If I overstepped the line today you just need to tell me." Spencer could feel his heart beating so loud and fast in his chest that he was surprised he wasn't having some sort of aneurysm.

"I've got feelings for someone but they don't know and I can't tell them because then they'll hate me and it will ruin our friendship, and I'm kind of dating this girl who's really nice but I don't feel about her as strongly as I do about this other person, so I feel like I shouldn't see her any more even though I do like her and I know nothing will ever happen with this other person because they definitely don't feel the same way about me, but as hard as I try I can't stop feeling this way about them even though it's completely illogical, and yeah you guys teasing me isn't exactly helping with either situation…" Spencer became pretty incoherent as he became more upset and Morgan held up his hands.

"Woah, woah, back up a second kid, you're losing me."

Spencer looked at him, his cheeks slightly flushed by the sudden rush of emotion. "I thought you wanted me to talk."

"Yeah but I wasn't expecting quite so much information all at once," Morgan replied, moving forward and sitting next to him on the couch. "You're the one with the eidetic memory remember not me."

"Sorry. I got a bit carried away."

There was a silence, then Morgan said. "This…'person' that you like. It's Penelope isn't it?"

Spencer nearly choked. "What?"

Morgan was eyeing him understandingly. "I've noticed that you've been spending quite a lot of time in her office, a lot more than you usually do."

"Mor -"

"And you've looked quite upset a couple of times when you've come out of there; it all makes sense now."

"_Really_, that's not -"

Morgan patted his shoulder. "I know it must be really hard on you kid, but she's very happy with Kevin. You know that -"

"MORGAN!" They both jumped at the loudness of Spencer's voice interrupting. He looked at his friend apologetically.

"This has _nothing _to do with Garcia."

"Oh." Morgan looked slightly abashed then his eyes widened. "JJ! Of course."

"It's none of the girls at the BAU OK!" Spencer said exasperatedly.

Morgan furrowed his brow and sat back. "Sorry. I give up, who is it then?"

Spencer felt like there was a huge lump of iron in his chest which was making it hard for him to breathe properly. He closed his eyes. There was a brief pause, then he heard himself say softly,

"It's you Derek. It's always been you."

Silence. There was no movement from the other body on the couch. Eventually Spencer braved a glance in Morgan's direction. His co-worker's face was a blank mask, it seemed almost as if he had frozen.

"D-Derek?" Spencer whispered. This was not one of the reactions he had been expecting. Anger yes, horror perhaps, he had even prepared himself for laughter. But not this, this stony-faced calm. It was like Morgan hadn't even heard him. The silence grew longer and longer and Spencer could feel himself starting to sweat. Then abruptly, Morgan stood up. Spencer rose too, troubled and unsure.

"I've gotta go." Morgan strode over and picked up his jacket from the kitchen counter. His voice betrayed absolutely no emotion, but the tension in his back and shoulders told another story. Spencer hurried after him as he yanked open the front door.

"Der-Morgan! Please can we just…"

His only reply was the door slamming shut, inches from his face. He stood there, unable to move, as frozen as Morgan had been only moments earlier. Finally, realizing that Morgan wasn't coming back he managed to move slowly towards his bedroom. It was blissfully dark and cool and he lay down on his bed, screwing his eyes shut against the images that refused to be suppressed. Not for the first time he cursed his eidetic memory - it really was just as much of a curse as it was a blessing sometimes. The familiar ache around his temples started to pound and he groaned into the bedspread.

'Not _now_,' he thought, pulling the pillow over his face. He'd just managed to get himself about as comfortable as could be expected when the shrill ring of his phone broke the silence.

"_For the love of_-" Spencer reached into his pocket and pulled out the offending item. "_What?_" he said angrily into the speaker.

"S-Spencer?" It was a girl's voice. "It's Angela, is everything OK?"

Spencer sat bolt upright rubbing his eyes. "A-Angela. Sorry about that, you caught me at a bad moment." He raked a hand through his unruly hair. "W-what's up?"

"I was just a bit worried about you…you were meant to meet me at the café half an hour ago."

SHIT.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Spencer felt even worse than he already did. "It's not been a good day. Are you still there? I can come now."

There was a pause. "Actually I'm outside your flat."

"Sorry?"

"I'm outside your flat. Can I come up?"

Spencer felt the nervous sweating begin again. Angela was definitely not the person he wanted to see him in this state. And he still felt like crap.

"Um…now's really not the best time. I'm feeling pretty ill, I, um, don't want you to catch something."

Angela giggled. "That's sweet but I'm sure it can't be that bad."

"Well actually…"

"_Please_ Spencer."

Spencer swallowed. He'd just stood the poor girl up, and even in his limited experience he knew that was a bad move. He couldn't really afford any more black marks. "OK, I'll buzz you in," he said, trying to sound enthusiastic. He dumped his phone and quickly went out into the living room. Apart from a few abandoned mugs, which he quickly collected up and put into the sink, the flat was pretty tidy. He went over to the door and pressed the buzzer. Catching sight of himself in the mirror he groaned. He looked almost as bad as he felt.

There was a light knock on the door. He pulled it open to reveal a rather windswept Angela. She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as she entered the apartment. Spencer blushed as he shut the door behind her. Angela was already busy examining his apartment.

"I _love_ how many books you have!" She exclaimed, running her finger along one shelf. "Doesn't look like you have many which aren't technical books though."

"Not much in English," Spencer replied uncomfortably, putting his hands in his pockets. Angela checked herself and came back over towards him. "Sorry, I'm really nosy about other people's houses."

Spencer managed a small smile. "It's fine."

Angela was examining him more closely. "You really don't look well. Have you got _any_ sleep over the last few days?"

"Not really."

"Oh Spencer." Angela took a step closer to him and put her soft hand against his cheek. She looked at him tenderly.

"I'm really sorry I stood you up. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. I've just…had a lot going on." Spencer could feel Angela's fingertips brushing lightly down his cheekbone and he stepped closer to her. She pulled his face towards her and their lips met in a soft kiss. Spencer closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Suddenly it was Morgan's face he was holding between his hands and the lips pressed against his were firmer, less feminine. He gasped and stepped back.

"I'm s-sorry, I can't do this."

Angela was looking confused, and a little annoyed. "Spencer is something wrong?"

"We…we need to talk." Spencer avoided her eyes as he went and sat on the couch. Angela followed him and sat down exactly in the seat Morgan had vacated a little while before. This unnerved Spencer even more. He stared down at the floor. "I-I haven't been entirely honest with you. About…this," he said, making a vague gesture from Angela to himself. "There's something I should've told you."

"You aren't married are you?"

Spencer balked. "Absolutely not."

"Girlfriend?"

"_No_."

"Well it can't be that bad then."

Spencer rubbed his forehead anxiously. There really was no easy way to say what he had to say. "It's not that I don't like you, I do, I really do. I just…kind of…have feelings for someone else as well."

"I see." Pause. "And you like them more than you like me."

Hurriedly Spencer replied, "I've known them a lot longer than I've known you. That's all."

Very calmly and matter-of-factly Angela sat forward and looked at Spencer's lowered head. You make sure you call me once you've sorted out whatever it is you've got going on up there," she murmured, tapping him gently on his forehead. As she got up she a pressed a kiss lightly against his soft curls.

Spencer heard the door of his apartment closing, and then there was silence once again. He was relieved at how well Angela had taken his words. The thought of a full-on confrontation after his confession to Morgan had filled him with dread. He knew he'd probably hurt Angela but she deserved someone who was going to give her the full attention she deserved.

'Not someone who thinks about someone else when he's kissing her,' Spencer thought, cringing slightly at the memory. His feeling of relief faded when he remembered Morgan's face as he'd left the apartment. What the hell had he been thinking, just _telling _him like that? What must have gone through Morgan's head when he'd heard Spencer's confession? And how was he ever meant to look Morgan in the face again?

Spencer screwed up is face in anguish, his brilliant mind failing to supply the answers it usually gave so readily. Grabbing his phone once again, he dialled Garcia's number with shaking fingers. If there was one person who could fix this horrific mess he'd made, it was her.

"C'mon Garcia, pick up, please pick up," he muttered, as the dial tone began ringing. "I've never needed your wisdom more than I do now."

There was a click. "Well helloooo there!" Garcia's booming enthusiasm filled Spencer's ear. "What can I do for you today my little cupcake?"

"I think I did something pretty stupid." He heard Garcia's deep sigh.

"You'd better tell mama all about it."


	5. Aftermath

Meanwhile in his apartment across town, Morgan was experiencing something close to a complete mental breakdown. He'd gone straight from Spencer's apartment to the gym where he'd stayed until they kicked him out at closing time. He'd put his music on as loud as it could go, blocking out the world completely so he didn't have to think about anything, especially not what had just happened. But now, back in his quiet apartment there was no escaping his thoughts. It felt like his head was going to explode with all the different emotions that kept surfacing. He paced up and down his living room whilst Clooney eyed him warily from his basket. Clooney could always tell when Morgan was upset, and today was no different.

A sharp knock on the door made them both jump. Morgan hesitated anxiously. What if it was Spencer?

"Derek Morgan, I know you're in there so you'd better open up right now. You're not the only one who likes kicking down doors!"

Recognising Garcia's voice Morgan quickly pulled opened the door. Penelope marched in without so much as a greeting and plonked herself down on the couch. She glared at Morgan.

"Baby Girl what the - "

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Morgan was taken aback. "Penelope what is this about?"

Penelope picked up her phone and waved it at him angrily. "I've just had Spencer on the phone for an hour, practically _in tears, terrified _that he's lost you as a friend because he took my advice and told you how he really feels. And instead of being supportive and understanding you just up and leave without so much as a goodbye! I expected better behaviour from you Derek. I am _not_ impressed."

Morgan was staring at her open-mouthed. "You…you _knew_? For how long?"

Penelope snorted. "Of course I did, I've known for nearly a year now."

Morgan ran a hand over his head and tried to remember to breathe. "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

"It wasn't my secret to tell," Penelope replied, he voice more gentle now. "Look Derek I can see this has upset you…"

"Of course it's fucking upset me!" Derek yelled, resuming his furious pacing. "My best friend, a guyI _thought_ I knew like my own brother, just confessed that he's in love with me, that he's been in love with me for practically forever. Hell, I didn't even know he was gay! I think I'm allowed to be a little bit upset don't you?"

"Yes of course you…"

"I mean, how could I not know something like that? I'm a profiler for god's sake, it's my job to know!"

Penelope folded her arms. "Don't make this about how good a profiler you are Derek. This is completely different."

Morgan sat down heavily next to her on the couch. "I just don't understand Pen."

Penelope put a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. "You didn't know because Spencer didn't want you to know," she said softly. "It's not your fault but you have just confirmed the terrible reaction he was expecting if you ever found out. And as for him being gay, I don't really think he is. Not properly anyway. You're the only guy he's ever felt like this about. You know what he's like! I don't think he's experienced these kind of feelings for _anyone_,_ ever_. He's freaking out just as much as you are. I've never really considered it before but I think it must be really hard being Spencer Reid sometimes. I reckon being a genius must be a pretty lonely existence. There's only so many things books can teach you. And matters of the heart isn't one of them. What we have to think about now is how we can make this whole situation easiest for him." She stared at Morgan appraisingly. "The first question I've got to ask is, now you've had time to process what he said, how do you feel? _Apart_ from upset."

Morgan glanced sideways at her and sighed. "I'm pretty freaked out to be honest. I mean, what am I supposed to say to him that he doesn't already know? I'm not gay, I think that's pretty darn obvious, even to someone as clueless as Reid."

"You could still have feelings for him and not be gay."

Morgan stared at her. "WOW…what makes you think I have feelings for him?"

Penelope shook her head. "I'm not saying you do. But I do think it's something you need to think about before you completely cut him out of the picture. Because someone like Spencer might never recover from that kind of hurt. If I was you I would really look inside of yourself before you make any snap decisions. And I don't care if that does sound like it's out of some cheesy movie." She rose quickly. "_Promise_ me you'll talk to Spencer soon. Whatever you decide. It's going to break his heart if he thinks he's lost you as a friend as well."

Morgan stood and followed after her as she reached the front door. Just as she was going to leave Penelope turned and enveloped him in a huge hug.

"I know this is hard for you Der-bear. But try and see things from Spencer's point of view too. Sleep on it and we'll talk again in the morning OK?"

Morgan nodded absently. Penelope leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Try not to worry about it too much."

Morgan shut the door behind her and went back to the couch. He sat staring into space, his mind an ocean of whirling thoughts. He felt so confused, so absent, so alone. Never had he wished more for his father to still be alive. Even if he hadn't said anything, his very presence would have been so comforting. Morgan thought of phoning his sister, but what could he say? Hell he didn't even know himself. He picked up the phone and cradled it between his hands, deliberating. Clooney jumped up on the couch beside him and licked his ear. Morgan envied him; he would've done quite a lot to switch places with Clooney in that moment. He closed his eyes. An image of Spencer's face appeared in his mind, his eyes bright, his cheeks flushed red. He heard those words again. _"It's always been you." _He remembered getting up and Spencer rising with him, scared and uncertain. He remembered how he'd grabbed his jacket and stormed towards the door, Spencer's stricken pleads falling on deaf ears. He hadn't even been able to look Spencer in the face.

Morgan's eyes snapped open. His overwhelming feeling was now of guilt and anger at himself for his actions. After all he had practically forced the confession out of the kid. Spencer probably would never have said anything if he had just left the subject alone. But he'd been so damn curious. So convinced that he was right with his 'Penelope' theory. Morgan gave a short laugh as he thought about quite _how _wrong he had been.

"What should I do Clooney?" he said, ruffling the dog's large ears. "What the hell should I do to make this right?" Clooney gazed back at him lovingly and barked softly.

"You know what? I think you're right," Morgan said. Looking down at the phone in his hands he slowly typed in a number. The dial tone began to ring, and then there was a faint click.

"Hi," Morgan said. "It's me."


	6. A walk in the park

**This is quite a short but necessary chapter before I can get onto the really juicy stuff! Enjoy…**

"_Hi," Morgan said. "It's me."_

Spencer took a deep breath in. "H-Hi."

"Reid we really need to talk. Can I meet you at Lunga Park in fifteen minutes?"

Spencer closed his eyes. "Morgan, we really don't have to do this. I get it. I wish I hadn't said…"

"_Spencer_. _Please_."

It was so rare for Morgan to call him by his first name that Spencer was slightly caught of guard. "Um…sure."

The phone clicked on the other end and Spencer slowly lowered the receiver. His legs felt like jelly as he forced himself over to the couch and pulled on his shoes. The thought of seeing Morgan was giving him a horrible sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. 'At least it can't get much worse than it already is,' he thought, trying to make himself feel better. It wasn't much of a consolation.

Morgan stood at the entrance to the park, nervously looking about him. The wind ruffled the collar of his coat, and he pulled it up around his ears. It was a cold grey evening and the small park was nearly deserted except for the odd cyclist. He hoped Spencer was going to show. He had to make things right between them somehow. 'Or as right as they can be now,' Morgan thought uncomfortably. He had no idea what he was going to say. He was kind of hoping inspiration would just strike.

A tall, slim figure appeared in the distance walking slowly towards him. Morgan straightened up and swallowed. Spencer stopped leaving a good couple of metres between them. His hands were buried deep in his pockets and he shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Morgan gestured in front of him towards the path. "Shall we walk?"

Spencer nodded. They set off along the path; there was silence except for the soft pat of their feet hitting the gravel. Morgan knew he should start talking but his was struggling to form any words. He coughed awkwardly. "Reid…I-I really want, _need_, to apologise. My behaviour earlier was unacceptable. I really wish I hadn't responded like that…I was just…shocked."

Spencer stopped and turned to look at Morgan. "I shouldn't have said anything. I knew it was a bad idea but Garcia…" He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I think the best thing would be for us to pretend it never happened."

"Reid, it's not something I can forget that easily! We need to talk about this."

"What is there to talk about?"

Morgan looked at him incredulously. "Reid you're supposed to be one of my best friends and I didn't even know you were gay."

"I'm not…at least I don't think I am," Spencer replied, feeling his cheeks redden. "I…I only feel this way about _you_. And you know I've liked girls in the past too. Believe me, feeling like this…it's not exactly easy for me either." He looked down at the ground and Morgan was once again in turmoil.

"Reid…_Reid_. Look at me."

Spencer raised his head and caught Morgan's eye. Morgan moved an inch forwards. "I need you to know something."

"What?"

"None of this…" Morgan gestured between them, "none of it matters to me. You're still the same Reid. You're my best friend and nothing's going to change that. I… really wish I could be more to you…be what you want me to be…but I can't. I hope you can understand that and not hate me."

Spencer moved over to a nearby bench at sat down. Morgan stayed standing, uncertainly awaiting a reaction to his words.

"Morgan, I could never hate you. And I want you to know that I'm never going to let the way I feel interfere with my work. No one else ever has to know about this." Even as he spoke Spencer could feel his heart breaking a little more, but he was determined to not let Morgan see how much it was affecting him. He stood and managed to plaster a smile on his face. "Honestly, let's just carry on as we always have. As long as I have your friendship that all that really matters to me."

Morgan smiled back at him, and Spencer saw the relief in his eyes. "Come on Pretty Boy," Morgan said. "I'll treat you to a coffee."

"Like a date?" Spencer asked, testing the waters. Morgan balked. "I was just joking! Too soon?"

Morgan gave a light laugh. "Little bit." He put an arm around Spencer's shoulders. "C'mon Pretty Boy, let's go."

**Fear not Sperek fans! This is not the final chapter. Inspiration struck me yesterday and I have a whole new ending planned for our heroes which I can stretch out for a few more chapters if you like. So please do review and let me know what you think!**


	7. The other guy

Penelope was feeling guilty. Although she believed in her heart of hearts that getting Spencer to tell Derek how he felt had been the right move, it didn't change the fact that she now had to console a heartbroken Spencer all over again. She remembered when she'd first confronted Spencer about her suspicions over a year ago, how young and vulnerable he had seemed. How utterly terrified he was of the new emotions he was experiencing. Emotions that previously had been so alien to him. Back then she had been able to give him nothing more than her friendship and advice, a shoulder to lean on through the hardest times and wise words to make the pain bearable. A year later little had changed. Spencer was a little older, a little more cautious, but now the protective shield he had built around his heart had been smashed into little pieces. He had been safe in the knowledge that at least Morgan didn't know, would never know, how he felt about him. And she had taken that away. And to her horror, the little part of Spencer that had opened up to her, disappeared as quickly as it had arrived.

But Penelope Garcia was a formidable woman. She didn't sit around waiting for solutions or explanations. She was a woman of action, and she knew if she was going to catch Spencer before his self-assurance was destroyed forever she would have to act fast. As the end of the day approached she strolled out of her office into the bullpen. JJ had left already, although she could see Rossi still in conversation with Hotch in his office. Morgan and Prentiss were just making their way out of the door, laughing and cracking jokes. Spencer sat at his desk, flicking unseeingly through a bulky file.

"See you Monday Baby Girl!" Morgan called as he made his way out of the door. Penelope waved and blew him a kiss. She couldn't be angry with him despite her disappointment. And it sounded like he had been as kind and honest towards Spencer as he could be, so there was nothing more really to be said. She made her way over to Spencer's desk and perched on the edge. Spencer looked up briefly but didn't smile. He was sick of pretending he was OK when really the pain was eating him up inside. Penelope looked down at him sympathetically.

"Got any plans for the weekend?" she asked casually. Spencer gave a harsh laugh.

"I was thinking of reading through my entire collection of the Encyclopaedia Britannica actually."

Penelope gave him a stern look. "What have I told you about moping?" she said. "You only get three days and then you have to move on. Now you're on day five so it's time to try and start thinking positively about things. So, you're coming to the theatre with me tonight." Spencer started to protest but she held up a hand. "No arguments. There's someone I want you to meet. Someone I think will provide the perfect distraction from all this…business. I'll pick you up at 7.30, wear something nice and please, please brush your hair. I'm assuming you're going for the angsty poet look but I'm not buying it." She ruffled his unruly curls and then gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I know you're feeling like crap at the moment but you're going to have to try and cheer up. I've told Hotch you broke up with your girlfriend but he'll only let you mope for so long." She stood up and stretched. "What a week! I'm ready for some proper R&R."

Spencer watched her as she gathered her things and made for the door. As she exited she turned and waggled her finger at him. "Remember! 7.30 and be smart!"

"Yeah yeah," Spencer mumbled and sank back into his seat. The last thing he felt like doing these days was socialising, but he didn't even have the energy to protest. And Penelope was right. Sooner or later the other profilers would begin to question his behaviour more thoroughly, and he did not want that to happen. Sighing he packed up his bag and also made for the door. The ride home on the subway was uneventful but it wasn't until he was climbing the stairs to his apartment that he suddenly remembered something Penelope had said. _"There's someone I want you to meet." _ Spencer groaned. Knowing Penelope it would be one of her slightly odd acquaintances; they'd probably be a fortune teller, dream interpreter or something equally bizarre.

'_I really need to stop getting myself into these situations,' _Spencer thought_. 'Oh why can't life ever be simple?!'_

"Spencer, _stop_ fidgeting," Penelope said, slapping his hand away from his tie for the fourth time.

"No offence Garcia, but I _really _don't want to be here."

Penelope turned and glared at him. "You promised me you were going to be well-behaved tonight." Seeing the face he pulled, she softened. Taking his hand she said, "We'll head home in a minute but I've got to stay and congratulate everyone. And I really want you to meet Sam." She turned grinning as the actors began streaming through the doors into the foyer. "There he is! Sam! Sammy! Over here!"

A tall dark haired man turned and smiled at Penelope's words. He walked over to them and planted a big kiss on Penelope's cheek.

"Well if it isn't my favourite girl," he said warmly, embracing her. Penelope pulled back and smiled up at him.

"It's been ages since I last saw you! Great job in there, I nearly fell off my seat laughing didn't I Spencer?" She turned back to him. "Oh I'm sorry, Spencer this is Sam Lavard, Sam this is Doctor Spencer Reid, my colleague from the BAU. Sam's one of our theatre troop's star performers!"

Sam laughed. "Don't listen to her, she's the real star." He held out his hand. "Hi."

Spencer gave his trademark awkward wave. "Hello."

Sam turned back to Penelope. "You didn't lie. He is cute!"

Spencer felt his cheeks grow crimson. He glared at Penelope who looked back at him stoically. Sam didn't seem to notice. "Penelope tells me you're the brains of the BAU. Intelligence and good looks…a formidable combination."

Despite his embarrassment, Spencer found it impossible to look away from Sam's intense green eyes. He really was very attractive.

"Well I've got to go and catch up with everyone so I'll leave you boys to chat," Penelope said gaily. As she walked away she winked at Spencer behind Sam's back and gave him a thumbs up. Spencer could've killed her; this was exactly the situation he usually went out of his way to avoid. Sam was grinning again.

"I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that you don't go to the theatre a lot."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah." He laughed and Spencer managed a little smile.

"Sorry I'm not very good at all…this." He gestured around at the buzzing room.

"Bit of a lone wolf eh? Must be hard being a genius and having to make conversation with mere mortals."

"N-not exactly," Spencer stuttered. He made a mental note to get his own back on Penelope at the next possible opportunity. Sam laughed again.

"I'm just teasing you."

Spencer gave an awkward cough. Sam clapped him on the shoulder. "Sorry I'm sure you get enough of that from your work colleagues." He was staring at Spencer intently again. "Would you like to go for coffee tomorrow? I'd like to get to know you better." He leaned in and added in a whisper, "And I'm pretty sure Penelope will plant some super-destructive virus on my computer if I don't take you out, so do me a favour and say yes."

Spencer gaped at him. "S-sorry?"

"Will you let me take you out tomorrow?"

Spencer blushed to the roots of his hair. "Um…OK." He heard himself agreeing

"Ready to go?" Penelope appeared at his shoulder. He turned to her in relief.

"Absolutely."

Penelope turned to Sam and embraced him. So good to see you honey, let's do coffee next week and catch up properly OK?"

"That's be great," Sam said cheerily. He held his hand out to Spencer again. "Until tomorrow Spencer. I'll get your number from Penelope."

"Mmm…" Spencer mumbled in return, completely ignoring the hand. He couldn't wait to get out of there. As soon as they were safely in Penelope's car he turned on her.

"Garcia! What the hell!"

Penelope turned in her seat to look at him and folded her arms. "What's the problem?"

Spencer was so flustered that he could barely get his words out. "That…i-in there. The whole 'I'll leave you boys to chat' routine. Why are trying to set me up with someone…AGAIN?"

Penelope didn't look the least bit ashamed. "I thought you could do with a bit of an ego boost. You've been so sad lately and you know I hate to see my junior-G man sad! When Sam phoned me to see if I was coming to see the show I dropped into the conversation that I had a VERY cute friend who could do with cheering up."

Spencer glared at her. "He said you threatened to infect his computer if he didn't ask me out."

"Threatened is a rather strong word."

Spencer sighed. "I don't want to go on a date with this guy, or anyone else. I really really don't."

"What's wrong with him?"

"N-nothing. It's just a bit…"

"He's gorgeous, intelligent and super rich," Penelope interrupted enthusiastically. "I know he's not my Chocolate Adonis but he's a pretty damn good substitute." She stopped. "If you're not going out with him why did he say 'until tomorrow'?

"He caught me off guard! You'll have to tell him I changed my mind."

Penelope shook her head and started the car. "That I will absolutely not do."

"Please," Spencer pleaded.

Penelope giggled. "No."

"ARGH." Spencer buried his head in his hands dramatically.

"Spencer…you're never going to be able to move on from your feelings for Derek if you don't give other people a chance. I thought of phoning Angela but I think you need to work out exactly what it is that you want from a relationship. And you can't do that unless you've experienced…all your options."

She drew up outside his apartment and turned off the engine. "You need to see if what you feel for Derek…physically…if just a one-shot thing. For your own piece of mind. So go on a date with Sam and just see what it's like! It's not like it's a marriage contract! Just go for drink, have a chat. Like you would do with any of us." She giggled again. "And if there's some hot guy-on-guy action afterwards…well that's just a bonus!"

Spencer went beetroot and got hurriedly out of the car. He went to walk away but at then he turned back and lent on the car window ledge.

"You really think it's a good idea?"

Penelope was looking at him seriously now. "I really do. Please give yourself a chance to be happy."

Spencer hesitated and then gave a reluctant nod. "Fine."

Penelope squealed excitedly. "Yay. You've made me so happy my little cupcake!"

Spencer shook his head and sighed.

"And I'll be calling you on Sunday for a full report!" Penelope called as she drove away.

"But I won't be picking up the phone," Spencer muttered as he unlocked the front door. He couldn't believe he'd already let Penelope get him into such a situation so soon after the whole Morgan fiasco.

The thought of Morgan pushed him even further into despondency. If only his date tomorrow was with Morgan, what a difference that would make to how he was feeling!

'_No. You've got to forget about him,'_ he thought as he climbed into bed a little later. _'Forget about Morgan. He's your friend, that's all.'_ He screwed his eyes shut and tried to think of other things. As he drifted off to sleep he thought of a pair of bright green eyes, and despite himself he smiled.

Tomorrow was going to be very interesting.


	8. A Question of Love

The following couple of weeks flew by, at least to Morgan they seemed to. At the start of the second week they had a particularly trying case that took them out to Louisiana for four days. By the time they flew home on the Thursday night they were all exhausted and ready for home. When they arrived back at the base Morgan mentioned that he was going out the following evening to a bar opening. It belonged to a friend of his so he was guaranteed free drinks all night and he knew any friends of his would be welcomed with open arms, so he extended the invite to the rest of the team. The three girls accepted enthusiastically, but Hotch and Rossi both declined, and Spencer too made his excuses.

"Ahh come on Pretty Boy, it'll do you good to let your hair down a little," Morgan said teasingly.

"Sorry I can't…I…already have plans. I'll see you all on Monday."

Penelope giggled as he walked away. Morgan looked at her quizzically. "What?"

"Nothing that you need to worry your pretty head about," she replied grinning. Morgan shrugged. He was just glad Spencer seemed to have cheered up recently. He had been feeling pretty guilty about the whole situation and Spencer's moping had just made him feel worse. But Spencer seemed back to his normal…well…usual self now much to his relief.

The following evening he was feeling pretty good as he entered the bar. The three girls were already there seated at a table.

"Not drinking yet?" he enquired as he greeted each of them with a kiss on the cheek. Prentiss grinned at him. "Not after you promised us free ones all night long!"

Morgan laughed. "Too right, I'll get a round in." He made his way up to the bar. It was pretty busy and he caught the eye of more than one beautiful woman as he waited to be served. Morgan grinned to himself. It was going to be a good night.

As he made his way back to the table with the drinks, he noticed that the three girls had their heads together and were whispering and laughing.

"What's the big secret?" he asked putting the drinks down.

"We can't tell you, you have to guess," Emily said, her eyes bright. She loved teasing Morgan almost as much as he loved tormenting Spencer.

"But you only get three guesses," Penelope added. She looked a little more wary than the other two, as if she didn't really want him to know. However it was apparent that her desperation to share the news was overcoming her reticence.

Morgan sat down next to JJ and grinned. "All right then." He pondered for a moment. "Hotch finally caught Rossi and Strauss at it?"

The three girls burst into laughter. "No!"

"Also gross," JJ said, screwing up her face. "If I ever found them in my office I would be scarred for life!" They all laughed again.

"Try again," Emily said, prodding Morgan's arm.

"We're finally getting those fancy coffee machines they're always promising us but which never appear?"

Emily pouted. "That wasn't a proper guess."

Morgan shrugged and drank some of his beer. "I'm not that bothered about knowing."

"But this is a really good secret!" JJ said, backing Emily up. "C'mon, you've got one more guess, make it a good one."

Morgan sighed. "Prentiss finally got some action with that attorney guy?" He gave her a nudge and was delighted to see her blush.

Emily sniffed. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell." But as the others laughed she gave him a wink. "You're wrong again though."

"Ahh Pen, please can we tell him," JJ pleaded. "I'm dying to know what he thinks."

Penelope was still looking a little on edge. "I don't know."

"_Please_!" JJ and Emily put on their best puppy-dog eyes. Penelope sighed.

"Fine." She turned to Morgan. "But promise you won't freak out." She gave him a knowing look, and Morgan stared back at her puzzled.

"I'm not sure I wanna know now," he said jokingly. "You're all acting kinda…"

"Spencer couldn't come tonight because he's on a date. With a _guy_," Emily blurted out. "Can you believe it? I didn't even know he played for 'both teams'." She looked at him eagerly. "Did you have any idea?"

Morgan paused with his drink halfway to his lips. He lowered it slowly.

"No. No I didn't."

Emily continued. "I mean I can't say I'm that surprised. He's always been so awkward with girls, but he did go on that date with you J…"

"That was six years ago!" JJ protested laughing. "And it wasn't exactly what I would classify as a date."

"And you told me about when he hooked up with that actress in LA…"

Penelope interrupted. "I think they just kissed actually." She was eyeing Morgan almost apprehensively. He stared back at her, his mind in turmoil. "I set him up with a guy from my theatre troop. He seemed really down after he…_broke up with Angela_…and since I'm the only one he confided in about his feelings I thought he should try dating a guy next. And it seems to be working, they've actually been dating for a couple of weeks now." Morgan didn't miss the hidden meaning behind her words, but he was still struggling to take it all in.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell us," Emily said to Penelope. JJ nodded. "What happened to the circle of trust?"

Morgan found himself zoning out of the conversation as they nattered on. He couldn't exactly pin down what emotions he was experiencing, but he could feel what felt like a fire in his ears and a rushing noise that was drowning everything else out. Abruptly he stood up. "Just going to the toilet," he muttered. He walked quickly towards the bathroom, ignoring the pretty blonde who tried to engage him in conversation. Once he was inside he leaned both hands on the sink and breathed heavily. He looked up and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. A scowling face looked back at him, hands were clenched into fists and a bead of sweat was making it's way down his left temple. He didn't know why he was so angry, or even what it was exactly that he was angry about. He wiped the sweat away and straightened up, taking a deep breath in.

'_I'm just shocked that's all,_' he thought as he made his way back outside. '_They caught me off guard and it freaked me out. I don't actually care that Reid's dating a guy_.' He plastered a smile onto his face as he rejoined the girls.

"You OK?" Penelope asked quietly. Morgan flashed her a broad grin.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" He held out a hand. "Now which of you ladies wants to dance?"

"Me!" they all replied. Morgan laughed and gestured them to follow him. He made his way to the centre of the crowd and began to dance, moving his hips to the beat of the music. Morgan was a good dancer and he took it in turns to dance with each of the girls, losing himself completely in the music. Eventually JJ said she needed another drink so they went back to the table, and Morgan found his mind racing again.

"I think I'm gonna call it a night, I've got a headache," he said leaning in so the girls could hear him over the loud music. Muffling their protests he picked up his jacket. "You girls stay and have a good time. My bro Tony will keep you fixed for drinks." He embraced each of them and then made his way out into the cold night. Hailing a taxi he jumped in and gave the driver his address. Leaning back in the seat he closed his eyes. He felt exhausted but his whirling thoughts wouldn't let him rest. The journey seemed to last forever, but at last the taxi stopped and he got out thankfully. Handing the driver some cash he turned into his street. But the apartment block in front of him was not his. Cursing the driver he looked back but the car was gone. Then as his eyes adjusted to the darkness he began to recognise his surroundings and groaned. Subconsciously he had given the taxi driver Spencer's address. He knew he should walk away; he'd been drinking and it was very late, but something propelled him forward and before he'd even realised fully what he was doing he felt himself press the buzzer to Spencer's apartment.

"Don't answer, don't answer, don't answer," he muttered under his breath. Click.

"Who is it?"

Damn.

"I-it's Morgan. Can…can I come up?"

There was a pause. "Sure." The door buzzed and Morgan entered the building. He climbed the two flights to Spencer's floor. The door to his apartment was open and Spencer stood in the doorway looking slightly confused.

"Is everything OK? I thought you were out with the girls?"

Morgan nodded. "Everything's fine. My taxi driver got lost so I told him to drop me here and I thought I'd see if you were still up."

Spencer ran a hand through his hair and laughed. "Of course I am." His awful sleeping pattern was no secret to the rest of the BAU team.

"Can I come in?" Morgan asked. Spencer looked at him a little self-consciously.

'_He's remembering what happened last time I was here_,' Morgan thought, annoyed at himself.

"I don't have to…if you're going to bed or whatever."

"No of course, come in." Spencer stepped back and let Morgan pass by him. He shut the door and followed Morgan into the living room.

"Want a drink?"

"Sure."

"I've only got whiskey."

"That'll be fine." Morgan watched as Spencer got down two glasses and poured them each a generous share. He took the offered glass and downed the drink in one. Spencer was watching him nervously. Morgan leant against the back of the couch.

"So…I hear you had a date tonight," he said conversationally. Spencer reddened.

"Yeah."

"And?"

Spencer looked surprised. "And what?"

"How was it?" Morgan kept his voice relaxed, but he wouldn't meet Spencer's eye."

"Pretty great actually."

"And when were you planning on telling everyone that you're gay? Well, Hotch and Rossi that is. The girls all know already."

Spencer reddened even more. "I-I'm not really…"

"Because if you've been dating the guy for two weeks that means it must be getting fairly serious so I think it's only fair you tell everyone about him if he's going to be hanging around. I mean he could be a complete psycho for all we know, and from what Penelope told me he sounds like a bit of an idiot, but hey it's your life." Morgan regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Spencer was looking hurt but he answered almost angrily.

"That's not fair Morgan you don't even know Sam."

"You're right, I don't. But it doesn't mean I have to be happy about this." Morgan started pacing. "What's changed? What happened to 'I only have these feelings for you Morgan', I'm not gay, in fact until the other week you had a fricking girlfriend, so what's fucking happened in the past couple of weeks?"

Spencer seemed to shrink back into himself at the anger behind Morgan's words. Morgan noticed and stopped his furious pacing. Spencer furrowed his forehead and looked at his friend. Abruptly he said,

"Why are you here Morgan? I don't understand. Are you teasing me, making fun of me, what? Or have you just come here to yell at me because for the first time in my life I'm actually happy and that's too hard for you to handle?"

Morgan's chest constricted, his throat felt tight and he tried to remember to breathe. There was a long silence. Spencer had his arms wrapped round himself in the same protective stance he had had the day Morgan had forced the confession out of him.

"How can you just make yourself stop loving someone? "You said you loved me…you said you fancied me."

"I did. I-I do."

"H-have you…y'know?" Morgan said finally. "With…him."

"What?" Behind the hurt Spencer was genuinely confused.

"Christ Reid don't make me spell it out!" Comprehension dawned in Spencer's eyes.

"Oh…no."

"D-you…d-you…love him?" Morgan could barely get the words out. He took a step towards Spencer, who's eyes were shining with the first glimpse of tears. Pause.

"Not as much as I love you."

Morgan felt the tightening in his throat increase and he dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands as he too felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes. He took another step towards Spencer and placed a hand on his chest. Spencer's eyes widened. He took another step. They were now only inches apart. He could feel Spencer's breaths coming thick and fast.

"M-Morgan, no…what," Spencer's voice broke, as Morgan's hand gripped the front of his shirt and the other one came up to the side of his face.

"I can't stop thinking about you…I want you." Morgan took a final step and crashed his lips into Spencer's. It was if a fire had ignited in the pit of his stomach, exploding into violent flames the moment their lips met. He felt Spencer's mouth open to meet his and Morgan pushed a knee between his legs so their bodies were pressed a close together as they could be. There were hands everywhere, stroking, touching, caressing. Then suddenly Spencer broke the kiss. He looked at Morgan with questioning eyes.

"Are you sure?"

Morgan stepped back and tried to regain his composure. He didn't do very well. All he could think about was Spencer, the taste of his mouth, the smell of his skin. He looked his friend in the eye and nodded. Spencer smiled and held out his hand. Morgan took it and Spencer pulled him down the hallway. As they entered the bedroom Spencer turned and reclaimed Morgan's lips.

Once again the world around them became a whirlpool of colours and both of them were lost in a haze of desire where neither of them knew quite where they going. All Morgan could think was that he never wanted it to end.


End file.
